We want to have a conversation about marriage. We are not experts on marriage. We don’t pretend to have a corner on the market on all that can be said about it. God has raised others up in the body of Christ who have written excellent books and produced helpful material that is readily accessible to anyone who desires it. We are still learning, but recognize that God has given us something to share.

Our greatest desire would be to sit down with you in a coffee shop, unhurried, on comfortable chairs, and share together what we’ve discovered makes for a great marriage. We would want to hear from you, too, both successes and failures, joys and challenges, because we are all still learning.

So, if we could make this place our “coffee shop”, lets settle in for an unhurried conversation. Not to fix each other, nor to impress each other, but to spur one another on towards the One we all need in experiencing this beautiful, creative, unique relationship called marriage.

Allow us to direct our conversation toward 3 postures that are interrelated, but will be beneficial in looking at them individually. They are a posture of Humility, a posture of Learning, and a posture of Serving.

So pour a fresh cup of coffee, and let’s talk.

Rich & Barbie

Project #1

List significant events, experiences, and people that had an impact on your life, both positive & negative.

Explore with your spouse how the Gospel is pertinent to these areas.



Project #2

Fill this out regarding your interests and preferences, then take a picture of it and send it to your spouse. Periodically reference your spouse’s list in the future.

My Favorite:

• Colors:

• Musicians:

• Foods:

• Desserts:

• Candies:

• Snacks:

• Flowers:

• Perfume/cologne:

• Authors:

• Books:

• Movies:

• Gift ideas:

• Drinks:

• Restaurants:

• Vacations:

• Fragrances:

• Magazines:

• Hobbies:

• Retreat spots:

• Kickback activities:

• TV Shows:

• Jewelry:

• Clothing size:

• Shoe size:

• Special interests:

• Podcasts/Bloggers:

• Friendships:

• Date Nights:

    Meaningful Conversation Starters

    For Date Night

    I remember laughing with you when . . .

    I have fun with you when we . . .

    If we could try one new thing together, it should be . . .

    I feel extra special when you . . .

    If I could give you any gift, regardless of cost, it would be . . .

    One of my dreams for us five years from now is . . .

    One of the first things that attracted me to you was . . .

    Three words I would use to describe your character are . . .

    One of the nicest things you’ve done for me this year was . . .

    An area in your life where I’ve seen great growth is . . .

    One of the silliest things we’ve ever done is . . .

    One of my favorite things about us is . . .

    One of the times I felt closest to you was . . .

    One of my favorite traditions we do every year is . . .

    One of my favorite places in our home is ________ because . . .

    If we could take a vacation anywhere, it would be . . .

    One of the times you comforted me was when . . .

    An activity I’ve always wanted to do with you is . . .

    I feel especially loved by you when . . .

    I feel we grew the most in our marriage when . . .

    One of the times I’ve been most thankful for us is when . . .

    A decision I’m really glad we made was . . .

    Something I’m thankful we DON’T do is . . .

    A favorite memory about us is . . .

    Project #3

    Complete the following sentence in as many ways as you can, and share a couple with your spouse each time you are out on a date and elaborate on them.

    I feel really loved when you:

    Things To Pray For Your Mate

    Time in the Word & insight into the Scriptures

    An authentic & vital prayer life

    Repentance & Surrender

    Spiritual growth & maturity


    Conflict resolution

    Intimacy & Oneness

    Respect & Honor

    Physical health & strength

    Emotional & Intellectual well-being

    Healthy extended family relationships

    Social & relational connections

    Their role as a father/mother

    Their integrity & character

    Attitude at work and toward co-workers

    Focus and discipline

    Fulfillment and gratification at work

    Ability to glorify God through their profession

    How they relate to people, projects, decisions, deadlines

    Skill development and continuing education

    Worshiping sincerely from the heart

    Serving the church family in various capacities

    Ability to develop and exercise spiritual gifts

    Authentic relationships with others in his MC and DNA groups

    To humbly lead others in their spiritual growth

    Their role in the community & the neighborhood

    Safety and protection in traveling

    Their attitude toward current affairs and leaders of our country

    Their vision for the fulfillment of the Great Commission

    To trust that God is Sovereign, Good, Wise, Strong, & Loving

    To first find their identity foundationally as God’s child

    To discover the specific things God wants me to serve them in

    To be thankful to God for giving me the gift of my mate

    To own all I can, and forgive all I can, as God has forgiven me


    • Family Life’s Weekend To Remember Marriage Conference – familylife.com

    • The Song of Solomon series by Tommy Nelson

    • The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller & Kathy Keller

    • You And Me Forever by Francis & Lisa Chan

    • Gospel-Centered Marriage by Tim Chester

    • Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas

    • This Momentary Marriage by John Piper

    • The Two Sides of Love by Smalley & Trent

    • Marriage and the Mystery of the Gospel by Ray Ortlund

    • Relationships – A Mess Worth Making by Timothy Lane & Paul David Tripp

    • The Emotionally Healthy Leader (ch. 3) by Peter Scazzero